Happy Anniversary to me.
Day 30. Today is day 30 for me. I am very proud of myself and very somber. I have come a long way and still have a long way to go. not look at the mountain. Only the stone in front of my toe. If I begin to look at the mountain I will become too overwhelmed. I did my heaviest and most destructive drinking when I felt over whelmed.
Day 28 was very difficult for me and I almost did not make it through that day. Not only did I almost drink I had thoughts of ending it all. But love for my son and for my life partner, and the help and gentle words of my sponsor helped see me through the crisis. I not only made through to Day 29, I made it here, to number 30.
Yesterday I went to two A.A. Meetings (at the gentle prodding of my sponsor) and between the morning meeting and after the evening meeting I spent some time with other sober women and more specifically sober lesbians. I can not begin to tell you how great it felt to be sorounded by people that struggled everyday with the same issues that I do every moment of every day. It was an indescribably beautiful feeling.
What have I learned in thirty days? I am completely powerless over alcohol. Alcohol is poison to me. I can not conquer my addiction to alcohol alone. I must ask for help from my higher power because I have already shown what I will do alone. I can not go into my mind alone. That is where the inner child lives and there is no adult supervision there.
Day 30 sucks, just a little less than than 29 and I am sober.
Day 28 was very difficult for me and I almost did not make it through that day. Not only did I almost drink I had thoughts of ending it all. But love for my son and for my life partner, and the help and gentle words of my sponsor helped see me through the crisis. I not only made through to Day 29, I made it here, to number 30.
Yesterday I went to two A.A. Meetings (at the gentle prodding of my sponsor) and between the morning meeting and after the evening meeting I spent some time with other sober women and more specifically sober lesbians. I can not begin to tell you how great it felt to be sorounded by people that struggled everyday with the same issues that I do every moment of every day. It was an indescribably beautiful feeling.
What have I learned in thirty days? I am completely powerless over alcohol. Alcohol is poison to me. I can not conquer my addiction to alcohol alone. I must ask for help from my higher power because I have already shown what I will do alone. I can not go into my mind alone. That is where the inner child lives and there is no adult supervision there.
Day 30 sucks, just a little less than than 29 and I am sober.
posted by Melis at 1:52 PM
5 Comments:
Congratulations!
I'm glad that you've got a support network there, both with your sponsor and with your partner to help you through some of those tougher hours.
You're right. Only look at the stone. At some point you'll look back and see how many little stones you've left behind.
One of my favorite quotes of all time is "even the darkest hour only has sixty minutes." It reminds me that no matter how bad it seems at the time, this, too, shall pass, and things will eventually get better.
I alsot try to remind myself that if God brings me to it, He will bring me through it. If you've got faith in YOUR Higher Power, believe that if you're brought to it, you'll have help getting through it.
Go you, Melis! *hug* I'm proud of you!
Thank you so much for coming and reading and supporting me. It means so much. I take a lot that say with me through out my day.
Came here from Rosie's blog. Way to go on the 30 days. I know how hard it can be. Not alcohol for me, but difficult all the same! Prayin for ya!
I have sent you a couple of emails, and you are going to get sick of hearing from me....but I want you to know how really, really proud of you I am....I'm so glad to see Jennjr replied....speaking of Jenn, have you seen her pictures of Wembley (puppy). I just had a thought.....(Surprise) have you ever thought of getting a dog?????they really are great support, and something to think about......I don't know what I'd do without my Max to talk too....and he never talks back, thats a bonus......Well as I said before, Be Strong, Believe in Yourself.....and God Bless You....
Thank you Judy, your support means a lot to me. I have 2 dogs, both chihuahuas. Buster and Benny. They are not only entertaining, but comforting and high maintenence
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home